pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
