I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
