I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
