But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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