last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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