I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
