strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
