the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
