I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
