his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
