P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
