If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
