Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
