that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm getting married
To pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
