I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
