Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
