ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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