I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
