You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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