oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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