I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
