So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
