whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
