sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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