woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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