my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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