I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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