Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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