I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
