My brain says no but my pants say off.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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