If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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