Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
