big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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