It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
