I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
