I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you inspire me to be a worse person
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
