Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
