I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
