pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
