He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
