thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Girls should come with a carfax report
sarcasm needs its own font
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My penis needs a shock collar
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
