i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
