I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
