Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
