Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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