4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Randomize
