I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
