Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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