did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
