also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
